Drowning in the Sea of His Eyes
by tokkas
Summary: Finnick Odair's last moments before he falls to the mutts. Mockingjay spoilers.


The mutts are coming faster than ever, ready to sink their sharp teeth into our precious, delicate skin. They want to rip us apart for meat, or for a prize.

The darkness of the sewer is making it hard to figure out who is what, and where everything is, the stench of a faux rosy aroma swirling all around me. I can't stand it, but I struggle on, shooting blindly with my gun wherever the smells are coming from.

Which, basically, is just about everywhere. I may just be firing at one of my one of my allies, one of my friends. The thought disturbs me slightly, but I continue on. I have to survive.

Of course, I am willing to die for our new Panem. But I don't want to. I have so much that could be lost, and…

I feel so vain.

The mutts grow closer and closer, the smell of blood, death, and an enhanced aroma of roses all around. They're Snow's; we all know that much already. But what exactly are they? Alligators? Some monster they took from the woods? No one will know. I close my eyes for a brief moment, shutting out what little light I already have and letting the fact slowly meld into my mind.

This may be my last glimpse of life.

Once more, I start to pull the trigger blindly, releasing it at random directions- at least, the ones I hear the most growls at. But every once in a while, I hear the impact. My trident, my new, amazing trident, is long gone in the sewers. I want to fall down with it and pray that it will not end this way, to wish that everything that is happening is just a dream.

To beg an invisible force for time to turn back and have everything be slightly normal is what I want to do right now; I want to grovel in the dirt and beg until I am on the verge to tears. I want this so badly- and how amazing it would be if I could have it?

What have I dragged myself into?

I pull the trigger once more, expecting to feel the impact of the gun's blow, but I feel nothing. The gun is out of ammunition.

The gun is out of ammunition.

I didn't need a bullet in the side to feel the strike of those words.

I am out of ammunition, meaning I have a bigger chance of dying. And slowly, I whisper two syllables softly, as if anyone in this bloodbath could hear me.

_"Goodbye."_

I start to sprint away from the madness, my life at stake right at this very moment. Everything that will happen in my short-lasting life depends on this moment right now.

And as quickly as it came, the moment is lost. I feel a tear threaten to leak out of my eyes, and I let it, for it may be my last tear shed.

I hear panting draw closer and closer to me, so I swerve away, as if to avoid whatever is lurking around me.

Too slow.

A blast of pain erupts at my sides, my skin, my thin, apparently delicate skin, being ripped apart, bit by bit, piece by piece. I would imagine that the mutations enjoy this; they enjoy the blood leaking out of the wound in my side, yet they slurp it up like there is no tomorrow.

Well, there is one thing for sure: There is no tomorrow for Finnick Odair. I open my eyes as wide as I can, as if to embrace the final blow of the thought and the feel of those unnaturally sharp teeth ripping me apart. There were a couple sentences that the doctors always made me say; they always made me tell the truth of what was happening around me. I was supposed to say my name, and what I thought was going to happen next. And so that is what I am doing now.

My name is Finnick Odair.

I am being mauled.

I am being killed by a group of flesh-craving, bloodthirsty, savage alligator mutations.

I am being killed for the Capitol. I am a symbol that says, "We will kill the ones you love." But am I truly loved by the Capitol audience? Or am I nothing more than another doll of theirs that can be played with, but discarded just as easily? No. I won't let that happen to myself. I am quite aware that Katniss, Annie, Peeta, Gale, Haymitch, and everyone else will be there to honor my death- probably even more than I honor my death myself. It still hurts me, though. To think of how much I will hurt Annie with leaving is the biggest blow of all.

In District 4, we used to try and look back at everything with no regrets, but I cannot say that I feel that way. I regret that I had volunteered for those Games that started this entire mess. I regret that I will never hear the joy-filled laughter of my child, a child whom I was supposed to love as my own- not a child that was born by an accident, a one-night stand. I regret I will never look into that child's eyes, sighing deeply because I am aware of the fact that it is truly mine.

I regret the fact that I didn't tell my friends how much I appreciate them and wish I could be with them more, to spend more time with them. I wish that I had told Annie I loved her one last time before I was pulled away by President Coin.  
I regret the fact that everything is over.

I breathe sharply as the mutts take a break from slurping up my blood and take another round of bites at my skin, my mind starting to play the truths in my life over and over.

My name is Finnick Odair. I am a dying man. I am dying for the people of my country. I am dying for the ones I love.

As the mutts lean in to give me my death blow, images race back and forth in my mind, flashing away as quickly as they came.

I am on a boat for the very first time, the ocean breeze swirling my hair into a mess of golden curls. I laugh joyfully as the salty sea water makes its way into my mouth. I was born for this; I was born for the ocean.

I am back in the Quarter Quell, lounging around as if nothing had ever happened in this wretched world we call home. Mags lets out a joyful laugh as she throws a nut against the force field, baking it to a crisp.

Finally, I am at a rocky seaside cliff, and Annie awaits me in her wedding dress. The sky shows a vivid sunset, swirls of pink, orange, yellow, and red all blending together and making a warm ambiance. Annie falls into my arms, her sweet melodious laughter filling my ears. My life could last like this forever, and I would be just fine. Perfectly fine.

I feel a slight pinch so I close my eyes. When I open them once more, an aqua sea awaits me. And what more can I do? I plunge in and let myself drown.


End file.
